Duane's Prime Steaks and Seafood

Duckhorn Vineyards Merlot Napa Valley — $60–$80 (estimated bottle)

In a lineup of bloated Cab markups, Duckhorn Merlot is the least punishing option on a list full of punishment. It's a genuinely good wine that gets overshadowed by the Cab obsession in rooms like this — and that relative neglect sometimes means the markup is slightly less aggressive. It's not a steal, but it's the closest thing to reasonable you'll find here.

Veuve Clicquot Brut Champagne

Nobody comes to a steakhouse to order Champagne, and that's exactly why you should. Veuve Clicquot with a raw seafood tower is a legitimately great move, and in a room full of people ordering Cabernet out of habit, you'll be the smartest person at the table. It won't be cheap, but the relative markup on Champagne in steakhouses tends to be more defensible than on the Napa Cabs.

Jordan Cabernet Sauvignon Alexander Valley

At $165 a bottle against a $65 retail price, Jordan is carrying a 154% markup — the steepest on a list full of steep markups. Jordan is a fine wine, a reliable wine, a wine your parents might love. But at this price in this context, you're paying almost entirely for the label recognition. Buy it at a wine shop for dinner at home and save yourself $100.

Duckhorn Vineyards Merlot Napa Valley + Center Cut Filet Mignon 8oz

Filet is the leanest cut on the menu — silky, mild, and easy to overwhelm. Duckhorn Merlot has the structure to stand up to red meat without the tannin bombs of the Cabs on this list bullying the beef into submission. It's a more elegant match than the Caymus everyone else is ordering, and it proves you've thought about the dinner instead of just defaulting to whatever's biggest on the list.