Crustacean

Crustacean's wine list reads like it was assembled by corporate headquarters and hasn't been touched since. The usual suspects dominate—Rombauer Chardonnay, Meiomi Pinot Noir, and enough Caymus to stock a yacht club. This is a seafood restaurant that seems to have forgotten wine matters when you're eating shellfish.

The list skews heavily toward California crowd-pleasers with markups that make you wince. There's a token nod to French whites—expect to see Pouilly-Fuissé and maybe a Sancerre—but nothing adventurous or thoughtfully curated. The seafood angle should be driving selections toward bright, minerally whites and elegant sparklers, but instead we get butter-bomb Chardonnays and heavy reds that crush delicate fish. No natural wines, no grower Champagnes, no orange wines that would actually be interesting with rich crab preparations. It's the wine list equivalent of putting ranch dressing on everything.

The by-the-glass program runs about 8-10 options, all playing it painfully safe. You'll find the standard Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc, La Crema Chardonnay, and a Pinot Grigio that tastes like it came from a box. Pours likely run $12-16 for wines that retail for $15. No rotation, no seasonal adjustments, no reason to get excited.