LuLu's

LuLu's is Lucy Buffett's beachfront tourist magnet — think frozen drinks, live music, and families straight off the sand. The wine list reads like it was written once in 2015 and nobody's looked at it since. This is a place where wine is an afterthought to the margarita machine.

The list skews heavily toward the safest possible picks: your Kendall-Jackson Chards, your Barefoot Pinot Grigio, maybe a token Napa Cab at $65 that costs $18 retail. There's no regional personality, no Gulf Coast tie-ins, nothing that suggests anyone in management cares about wine beyond checking a box. You'll find a handful of sparkling options for bachelorette parties and maybe one or two reds that could survive the humidity. Don't expect any depth beyond the first page.

The by-the-glass program is exactly what you'd expect: five whites, five reds, all poured into stemless tumblers that double as water glasses. Rotation is nonexistent — these are the same pours you'd get in February or August. The house white is probably something forgettable like Woodbridge, and the house red tastes like it's been open since Tuesday.